Revenge

Loaded and drawn

I’ve a sharp mind

And a quick temper

My weapons of mass destruction

A petite young lady

And easy target

Just aim and shoot

A bullet to the heart

But this heart is made of steel

I draw my weapons

A modern day Annie Oakley

These bullets designed to pierce

Deeper then the depths of Hades

Your mistress is here

Waiting for her revenge.

Unreality

I got good feedback on this poem, so I thought I'd post it. Enjoy ya'lls.

Unreality

Is that really you,

With your coy smirk?

How charming you are.

Beckoning me to come hither.

Slowly

I proceed with caution

I break through the barrier

Confidence building with every step.

The sort I have never known.

Prince Charming

A God among men.

I am Cinderella

Dressed in my best to impress

Only you.

Always you.

But as I approach

The image becomes fuzzy

Slowly dissipating

Into nothingness

Back into the nothingness I know so well

Dark

Dreary

Home?

You’re not who I thought you were.

Just an empty, poisonous smile.

It's 2011 Kids!

I have A LOT on my mind right now. Where to start?

I guess I'll talk about my New Years resolutions. I don't normally make any, cause I think their kind of pointless, cause everyone ends up breaking them. But whatever. I'm bored and trying to keep distracted. (I've been cleaning my apartment furiously) This year I've decided that I am going to appear fearless in relationship to .... relationships (That was fun wordplay). I am going to let people know how I feel about them and not hide my feelings anymore, cause it's pointless. Nothing will ever happen unless you do something about it. And, I would like to finally have my first real kiss/ be in a relationship, and telling people how you feel normally is necessary for that. I'm also going to try to loose weight, specifically to rub my awesome bod and hotness in the faces of everyone who has ever turned me down, made fun of me, or doubted me. I know it's kind of a selfish reason, but whatever. I want to strive to be happier this year, since the last year was so crappy. I want to get a role in something, I don't care what, just something. I haven't been in a show in waaaaaay too long, so seeing as how I'm a musical theater major, I should probably start doing so.

So, I guess that's all. My mind is all over the place right now, so I don't know why I actually started this post anymore. Geeze, I'm a hot mess.

Well, here's to happy 2010!!!!! I love you all!!!!!

Just Do It

I would really like to know how people get to the point where they can live completely in the moment. It always seems like I'm just a second to late. I guess I just put too much trust in fate/the media. Fate, because I think, if it's meant to be, it will happen, which is probably totally wrong. I'm not going to get anywhere unless I take life and make of it what I want. And the media, because they portray decision making as so quick and easy, which is obviously wrong. I don't know. I really want to be the kind of person that lives in the moment and isn't afraid of life, I just don't know how. It's probably a pretty familiar feeling for someone my age. I feel like I'm trapped in "Garden State". Bluuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh!

Maybe Nike is right. Just do it!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel like it. I was woken up today by my fat cat puking on the end of my bed. I decided that was a sign from God to go back to sleep. I managed to stay in bed until approximately 3 pm. Dad and Seth are out being Santa and Elf, so it's just mom, myself, and the animals... eating Jack-in-the-box, watching "Christmas Vacation". We're in the middle of a lovely thunderstorm. I guess that's just Christmas in the Gibbs household in good old Houston, Texas.

I hope everyone has a merry Christmas and can enjoy the company of family and friends. I encourage everyone to take a little time to remember the true meaning of Christmas and reflect on the birth of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I love you all!

I Cut Myself Shaving

Before my razor attacked my talus I was musing on life. Being in the bathtub tends to do that to me. I was running the steel blade of my razor up my leg when I came to the conclusion that I REALLY hope I am not/am not becoming/will not be one of those "LA pricks" so abhorred in popular culture. You know, the ones that are always like, "...well in LA..." I mean, I absolutely love living there, it's great, but my heart will forever be with Yellowstone and the Wasatch Mountains. Los Angeles could never compete with them.

I've also decided that all those people who think that Disney is a load of crap because it trains us to believe that the love in their movies is actually attainable can go suck it. I've decided that, despite how jaded and bitter I may be toward relationships and love, the stories like those of Ariel and Prince Eric or Aladdin and Jasmine are what keep real love alive. The stories are so beautiful and without them true love would dwindle into complete obscurity. Believing in such things is beautiful and keeps us striving for the best in our companions. That probably didn't make much sense, but whatever, this is my blog and I'll say what I darn well please.

I would also like to dare everyone to go out of their comfort zone and tell someone how you really feel about them and how much you appreciate them. I recently did so, and though it may not have born the fruit I was hoping for, I feel like it freed me in a way I've never felt before. God may not always give you exactly what you want, but if you put your heart out there for someone else, he will reward you someway, somehow.

Also, if anyone is in the LA area between now and January 2nd, or anywhere else the show will be coming in the next year, you should definitely go see the musical "Next to Normal". It will change your life. It's definitely not a completely family friendly show, but it is most definitely a great show. I cried my eyes out through the whole show and still went back to see it a second time (though I had some selfish reasons to be seeing it again). The whole cast gives a stellar performance from start to finish and if you go by the stage door afterward, they are all very friendly and seem more than willing to sign playbills and have a quick chat.

Baaaaaaaallllllssssyyyyyy

Well, I've noticed that I've been a lot "ballsier" than normal lately. I guess that's a good thing. When you're "ballsy" you don't have the opportunity to wonder "what if". I mean, even if things don't work out the way you want them too, at least you tried. I personally believe that being "ballsy" helps people to grow up. You get in a lot more life experience that way (this coming from a twenty year old).

So here's to going "balls to the walls" and using lots of quotation marks!

Long live the "ballsy"!

"Goonies never say die!"