Canceled Class, A Pigeon in the Shower, and ANDREW GARFIELD

This has been the weirdest day of my life.

First off, I may or may not have gone to bed crying last night about how upsetting my life has been lately. And on top of being depressed, I wasn't prepared for my 8am class thanks to AMDA's library sucking. So, I decided I was going to skip that class.

I lucked out times 10. Class was canceled!

Then, I wake up at noon-ish to go to my second class and I'm in the shower, sitting down to shave, and all of a sudden I hear a loud noise and feel a strong breeze above my head. I look up, and there is a pigeon not two inches from my head. THERE'S A PIGEON IN MY SHOWER!!!!

After the ten seconds it takes me to realize what's just happened, I start hyperventilating and run out of the shower to inform my roommate. At this point I can't really form sentences because I'm so freaked out, so it come out as "There's a ... there's... it's .... what?... PIGEON!!!... SHOWER!!!! PIGEON IN THE SHOWER!!!! How... what?... Oh my God!!!!"

After about five minutes, I've managed to collect myself and find the courage to resume my shower.

So I go to class and it's nice. We finished watching West Side Story. So I'm heading back to my dorm and I feel the need to go get a cup of Chai at the coffee shop down the street. So I part from the friends I'm walking with and head to the beautiful land of yummy Chai.

I walk in, and sitting at the very first table with two friends is Andrew Garfield. You know, the guy from The Social Network and THE NEW SPIDER MAN!!!!

So, I compose myself. He's just a person and he's here with friends. Don't freak out. So I turn around after getting my chai and he's definitely checking me out. Like, looking me up and down, but in a dorky adorable way.

Can I just say that ...

THIS GUY IS ON MY COMPUTER WALLPAPER!!!!!

Today has been the craziest day ever.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 30

Day 30: Someone you miss.

My best friend. Sarah Elizabeth Alvarez.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 29

Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile.

Here are two.

My beautiful niece.

My brothers and I.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 28

Day 28: Something you're afraid of.

The main thing I'm afraid of is snakes, but just seeing pictures of them gives me the heebie jeebies. So instead here is a picture of a gorgeous man, Mr. Andrew Garfield. And the great thing is that it fits in this category because I am afraid of attractive men. I love them, but I'm terrified of them.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 27

Day 27: A picture of you and a family member.

Me and my Granny. I love her more than words can say. She is a super hero.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 26

Day 26: Something that means a lot to you.

My faith and religion. Nothing means more that knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who I can go to at anytime, whether it's just to talk or if I need something, and he will be there to listen. He sent his song, Jesus Christ, to earth to suffer and die for us on the cross, because he loved us so very much that he wanted to make sure we could be forgiven of our sins, be purified, and live with him again. I know that through him, I can be with my family for all eternity. I know that through the gospel of Jesus Christ that anything is possible. I'm thankful for the knowledge that we have a living prophet, Thomas S. Monson, on this earth who recieves direct revelation from God and leads and guides us. I'm thankful that I can have personal revelation through my personal relationship with my Father in Heaven. I know that it is the only way for me to truly be happy. I can't even begin to say how much I have been blessed. I know for a fact, that if it weren't for my faith, that I would not be here on this earth. I love being a "Mormon". Sometimes it's really hard, but in the end, it's always worth it. I love this gospel with all my heart and all that it stands for. It means the world to me.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 25

Day 25: A Picture of Your Day

Today we performed "The Wells Fargo Wagon" from The Music Man in my musical theater class. I was a 15 year old girl from 1912, thus, the bow.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 24

Day 24: Something you wish you can change.

I wish I could fix the Clean Water Crisis. It breaks my heart the amount of people that have to drink water that looks like this and what it does to their bodies, when all we have to do in America, is turn on a faucet and we have drinkable water.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 23

Day 23: Your favorite book

I have two.

This book changed my life and continues to change it every time I read it. I know it's such a stereotypical indie/hipster kid book, but I don't care.

This is the most inspiring book ever created. My theater teacher in high school read it to us at theater banquet and it hit me how much this isn't just a children's book. Now every time I babysit, I try and read this at bedtime and I always end up crying. For my 19th birthday when I was leaving for college, my best friend gave me this book. Then a couple months later, school and friends were really getting to me, so I decided to read this book. As I opened the book, letter fell out of the book. It was from my best friend telling me how much she loves me and how I've changed her life for the better. I have never felt more special than in that moment. I just love this book so much.

3's and 7's

So... they say death happens in 3's and 7's. So, I hope this is the end.

In October, my beautiful, sweet, amazing dog, Hanna, died of cancer.

In January, my loving, soft, sweet, and amazing cat, Miss Cleo, died of cancer.

Last week, my strong, hardheaded, gentle, inspiring, amazing grandfather, Billy Jack, died.

Last week, my roommate's 2nd cousins on her mom's side and on her dad's side both died.

Today, a teacher at my school, whom I wasn't personally acquainted with, except for having the door opened by him and the occasional smile, but who meant a great deal to a lot of my friends, died of lung cancer.

That's 3 in my family 7 from people in my close circle.

My granny, who means the world to me, was just diagnosed with cancer last week.

I know that with death comes a relief from pain and a reunion with our father in Heaven and that it isn't really a bad thing, but I pray to God that the cycle has stopped. I pray to God...

I dedicate this blog to all of those who have recently passed with love and admiration for the lives they lived.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 22

Day 22: Something you wish you were better at.

This was really hard. I feel like, as I woman in the culture we live in, were always told that we're not good enough. Therefore, even as the strong woman I believe myself to be, there are so many things I wish I were better at.

But, I managed to narrow it down to two.

I wish I were a better missionary. I tend to feel like I'm always lacking here. I guess it's just so hard to share something that is so special to you when their is a chance the person you're sharing with will ridicule it.

And of course, singing. It seems like I never feel like I'm quite up to par in the presence of my fellow singers. I know I have a gift, but I wish that gift were stronger.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 21

Day 21: Something You Wish You Could Forget

My brother told me when and where my niece was conceived...

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 20

Day 20: Somewhere you want to travel

County Cork- Ireland. This is where my great grandfather set sail for America over 100 years ago.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 19

Day 19: A Picture and a Letter

Dear Meredith,

Here you are, on your first day of school, about to depart on your life long journey. As you begin your life, I want you to know that life is beautiful. It is going to suck... a lot, but you are strong, and you will get through it. Know that you always have your family and your Heavenly Father to lean on. They will always be there for you no matter what.

Also, be confident in yourself. I know you're insecure about your hair and your freckles, but they are what make you unique. You are beautiful and should embrace it. While people might make fun of it for you now, someday it will be what attracts people to you. Little kids are stupid and don't know what real beauty is.

Most of all, never give up on your dreams. The Lord has blessed you with so many talents and you should share them. Don't be scared and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. You are amazing. You are talented. You are beautiful. Never let anyone tell you any different. Stand up for yourself. And love yourself and everyone around you.

Love,

Yourself age 20

Keep Your Clothes On!

Here's the deal...
I HATE hot weather! Like, with a passion. It just goes against everything in my nature. First off, I'm obviously a ginger. Why is that relevant? Because it means that I am pale. Not normal person pale, but I'm-outside-for-ten-seconds-and-I-get-a-sunburn/ skin cancer/ ugly freckles kind of pale. And hot weather means a lot of sun, which means a miserable Meredith.

Second comes the modesty issue. I like to keep covered. That is also in my blood. I'm a good little Mormon girl. We don't do bikini's, mini skirts, short short, and tank tops. My body is a temple, so I treat it as such. But it's freaking hard to do that in hot weather!

And third.... duh duh duh.... the body issue. I'm a girl, so naturally I am body conscious. That's why I like winter. In the winter, it doesn't matter how fat you think you are, cause every body looks fatter than normal. We all pile on bulky sweaters and scarves and maybe a couple pounds of blubber too. And it's acceptable because we are trying to keep warm. But in the summer, everything comes off. So, I see the stupid LA skinny bitches (pardon my French) walking around wearing barely any clothes, and first off, I'm like "what whores!", then I get jealous that I don't have the body to wear those clothes even if I wanted to, and then I get jealous of how warm I am compared to them.

In conclusion, hot weather sucks! I think I need to move to Alaska or Canada or something. ASAP.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 18

Day 18: Your biggest insecurity.

This one was really hard? How can I put an insecurity into a picture? What is my biggest insecurity? Do I even want to admit my insecurity to myself?

In the end, I decide it would be being left out. I'm always insecure that I'm purposefully being left out because I'm not good enough.

So what's more fitting than Robin with a bunch of Batmen?

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 17

Day 17: Something that's made a huge impact on your life recently.

My brother was recently in a really bad car accident that should have claimed his life. Thank God he's okay, but nothing effects you quite like thinking you've lost someone you love.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 16

Day 16: Someone Who Inspires Me

I have never had a teacher support and encourage me so much in my art and in my life as these two people. I love them so very much and I'm so thankful I had the experience of working with them.

Anthony Barrow

AND

THE

Brooks Almy

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 15

Day 15: Something you want to do before you die.

Here are my top three.

Have a family.

Be on Broadway.

Be Ariel in some form.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 14

Day 14: Someone you can't imagine your life without.

My mom.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 13

Day 13: My favorite band.

The Foo Fighters.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: Something I love.

My beautiful niece, Evangeline.

(That face is definitely related to me.)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: Something you hate.

I hate turkeys with a fiery passion. I was once chased by a flock of them. It was probably the most legitimately frightening moment of my entire life. I saw my whole life, all 10 year, flash before my eyes. Never, even if I became a vegetarian, would I ever have remorse for eating these creatures. I mean, have you looked into their eyes? It's like staring into the beady black abyss of death. These animals are Satan's minions.

So yeah, I don't like turkeys.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 10

Day 10: A picture of you and the person you do the most messed up things with.

It's a tie.

Miss Hanna Rose Ohia Burke

AND

Miss Jade Anna Rosenberg

Awesome.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 9

Day 9 Challenge: A picture of the person who's helped you through the most. I couldn't decide which one to put up (can you see a pattern of indecisiveness here?) so I here are my top two.

My mom (pictured with me before my senior prom) who is my world. (I love you Mommy!)

And my brother (pictures with me at the Golden Gate Bridge a couple summers ago) who has become my own personal therapist via phone (thank you BYU psychology degree!).

Both whom I love very very much! (I love all my family, no biases are presented here! Just facts!)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 8

Today's assignment was to post a picture that makes you laugh. I couldn't decide, as usual, so here are five.

I look like every 4 year old cousin you've ever known. Thank you Musical Theater.

For East last year, some friends and I went to Malibu Creek State Park and ended up climbing mountain. On the way down, I slipped on nothing and ended up in the almost splits. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard.

A prime example of my awesomely weird family. This is suppose to say whatever season we are currently in, but whenever my brothers or their friends are at the house it always end up saying something else, usually vulgar. Then it's a race to change it back before anyone from church (i.e. The missionaries) come by the house.

Not much explanation needed here. I just have awesome friends who sometimes get really angry in parking lots.

My brother once had a dream that this was a poster hanging in his room. So he made it a reality.

Secrets

Secrets, secrets are no fun;

Unless they are for everyone.

But for everyone, they are not.

Thus we come to a crossroads of sort.

The sort to which we must decide

Who we want to hurt.

And who do we want to save?

What, my friends, is sacred,

And what shall we end?

Secrets, secrets are not fun;

Secrets are not for everyone.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 7

I couldn't decide what my most treasure item was. So these are a few of my favorite things...

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 6

A picture of someone you would like to trade places with for a day.

Alice Ripley. Why? She's gorgeous, she's tremendously talented, she's the lead in my favorite show, she's a Tony winner, she's nuts, and.... She's ALICE FRICKIN RIPLEY!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 5

My favorite memory. Meeting my niece for the first time.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 4

A photo of my night. Boredom on my computer, listening to Disney songs, wishing I were I little kid again, and being cold.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 3

A picture of the cast of my favorite show, "Community".

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 2

A picture of you and the person you've been closest to for the longest amount of time.

Devin Davis. He's been one of my best friends since I was 11 years old. And now he's making us all proud on his mission in Armenia.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1

1. I'm am completely obsessed with making sure my eyebrows look good.

2. You can tell how stressed I am by how messy my room is.

3. I sleep with a Cheshire cat stuffed animal every night.

4. I hardly ever brush my hair.

5. I have just, within the last month, started eating salads.

6. I want to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid and I will make it happen.

7. I have already attended the temple at least 5 times this year. That's more than the last two years combined.

8. Until I started drama club in the sixth grade, I was determined to be either an interior decorator or a Meteorologist.

9. I'm slightly obsessed with wedding planning. (shhhhh, don't tell the boys!)

10. For about a year when I was little, I wouldn't eat cheese pizza or stuffed crust pizza because it reminded me of octopi. That really creeped me out.

V-day Chicks and Dudes

I've had a delightful Valentine's Day with two of my loves, consisting of sleeping until noon, waking up with beastly cramps, moving my friend into her new apartment, grocery shopping, and watching Sweeney Todd. Very romantic if I must say so myself.

So, while I'm in the spirit of things, I would just like to tell you all a few things that I love. They are as follows:

- I love my little nugget of a niece.

- I love my amazing friends here at school.

- I love singing.

- I love sleeping in as late as I want.

- I love the show "Spring Awakening".

- I love my family.

- I love blogging.

- I love not having to move.

- I love attending the temple every week.

- I love watching the guys in "Fresh and Easy" scrambling to buy Valentine's Flowers.

- I love living in Los Angeles.

- I love skyping with Caitlin Cannon.

- I love being able to belt.

- I love ModCloth.

- I love my roommates.

- I love not hating Valentine's Day any more.

The End Is Near

The semester's almost over!!! Though, I think I might die before my last demo on Wednesday. I really think I might die before my acting demo tomorrow (That's just my hope on the last one). Then as of 5:20 pm on Wednesday, I will be free, unless by some act of God, I'm good enough to get chosen for select demos. Thursday can't come soon enough. I might die of relief when this is all over.

I still have 5 more semesters of this... It's a good thing I love my teachers and I love what I do.

Sometimes...

Sometimes things are going just fine in your life and then God sends a curve ball, and you're like, "Hey, this could be really awesome, or this could really suck." And you hope it will be awesome, so you wait for it to be awesome, but then you realize you've been waiting for a really long time and nothing is happening and you were happier before and you wish the curve ball had never been thrown. Then you get sad and sulk and people start avoiding you or being nice to you but really hoping you would just shut up and leave them alone. Sometimes this happens. And sometimes you have really awesome friends who don't care how lame or depressing you can be, but see you for the amazing person you are. Sometimes people are really awesome and make life worth it. Sometimes I love people a lot. And sometimes things suck, but it's okay cause you love your friends and they love you.

Yep. Sometimes that happens.

Meredith's Musing of the Moment

- Zicam is a really weird word. Zicam...

- I love chicken pot pies.

-Thanks to a certain friend who will not be named, every time I look at my autograph from Idina Menzel, I think it says "Zesty luck!" It actually says "Best of luck!" I can't decide which I like more.

- I have no patience.

- I should go to the Olympics for Procrastination

-I'm pretty sure rainy days in Southern California are more depressing than almost any other place in the world.

- I saw a black midget at CVS today. I feel really sorry for that guy.

-I hate how oblivious I am to the world. The AMDA bubble is not cool with me. I like knowing about current events and pretending I can actually do something to help.

- Why don't guys ever get named "teases"?

-WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW YOU?????????

-Don't answer the last statement. Chances are it wasn't for you. I'm a drama whore, so I wrote it. Move on please. Thank you kindly.

-My weirdness never ceases.

-That's what she said will never get old.

-Sexy man wall gives me endless joy.

-Mormon boys can be so adorable.

I think that's all. Maybe... Time to go memorize a bunch of crap for class tomorrow.

Garden State

I was in a mood. You know, one of those typical young adult angsty moods us 20 something years olds are known for. So, I decided to watch "Garden State". I had forgotten what a stellar movie it is. The last time I watched it was probably my freshman or sophomore year of high school, and it changed my life. The movie and the music. I actually listened to the soundtrack on the way to Seminary every morning to help keep me calm to the fact that I was awake at 5:45 in the morning when I didn't necessarily have to be. It became the soundtrack to my life. It's weird though, the movie brought me back to that place in my life, which was a huge turning point in itself, but it also appealed to me in a completely different way now. I guess when I first saw the movie, I was really searching for myself. I was 16 years old, clinically depressed, and completely lost. And now, I'm 20 years old, still clinically depressed, but dealing and managing, and pretty lost as to where I'm going with my life. I guess, this is just the quintessential "finding yourself" movie. I don't know why it seems to speak to people of my generation so strongly, but if I had to guess, I would say that the characters are just super relatable. Everyone goes through a point in their life where they don't know which direction is up, and it's just nice to know you're not alone in you quest for stability.

So, Zach Braff, thank you for making this beautiful thing. Thank you.

The Sun Has Come Out in Hollywood

It's been a weird day. It started off with me waking up before noon on Saturday, which is a very rare occurrence. I needed to go to Samuel French to get a play for one of my classes, so Jade accompanied me so I wouldn't get creeped on. Well, on the way there, I look to my left while at a light and I see someone wearing a leopard print coat. Of course that got my attention, because I'm slightly obsessed with leopard print. But then I noticed something peculiar, first off, it's like, 75 degrees out, so not fur coat weather, second, the person was wearing a dress over jeans, and third, it was a homeless man. Only in Hollywood would you see a homeless tranny. Then on the drive back, we saw Barney, as in "I love you, you love me", walking down the street with his head off. Needless, to say, it ruined Jade's whole concept of life and the world. And then, I found Sudafed in my car, which was a total win, since I've been sick with no medicine since Tuesday.

Then tonight, I had my first legitimate, with an audience, performance at AMDA. It was absolutely awesome. Broadway great, Danny Gurwin (Laurie in the OBC of Little Women) was our director. So that in it's self was great, but he also complemented Jade and I on our performance and said that we were really funny! I can honestly say that is one of the best compliments I have gotten in my entire life. I mean Danny Freaking Gurwin liked my performance! AND my voice lasted through both performances!

AND it's finally sunny in California! Imagine that?

So, now that I have a renewed confidence in my performance capabilities (which is a good thing since I plan on making a living this way), life seems a little brighter. So here's to a bright future and hopefully many great performances and compliments to come!

Diary of A Sicky Kid

I'm sick and I have a vocal master class tomorrow and two performances on Saturday (my first show at AMDA too!). This sucks. And on top of everything, I don't know what to do, because I usually play the mamma and take care of everyone when they're sick. So, what do I do when I'm sick?

8:30 am make-up class tomorrow. Uhhhgggg.................................

Why does my body hate me so?

I Did It!!!

Something finally went well in my life/career! I finally landed an audition! It's been years since I have been in an actual show and now I will be performing in the AMDA Cafe Series this Saturday! I can't tell you how excited and happy this makes me! I just wanted to share my new good fortune with all of you. Here's hoping it's the start of a happy trend in my life!

Creative Writing Poetry Assignment

So, I finally got my poetry assignment back in my creative writing class and I am eager to share them with you as I got a 95 on them. The first is in sonnet form, so that was an interesting learning experience, and the second and third are both free verse, so I had a much more enjoyable time working on them. I hope you enjoy them.

Wanting

To love is more then I have known in life.

It likes to punch me in the face a lot.

By giving me a lot of pain and strife

And turning me into an, almost, sot.

But still, I’d like to know it very soon;

To feel it hold me tightly with it’s arms

And draw me close under the silv’ry moon

And keep me near forever with it’s charms.

If love would give me something beautiful,

With pink and yellow flowers like a song,

Whose greatness makes me sing and fills my soul.

Then life would never ‘gain do any wrong.

It’s cool ‘cause I don’t need to have it now.

But soon would make it easier, and how.

“A Man”

I’m full, like a balloon

Sweet and fragile

Ready to burst

So lovely and perfect

This feeling sublime

Ecstasy.

I’m enveloped completely

With thoughts of you

Slowly singing sweetly

Songs of seduction

Now wrap your strong arms around my waist

Heaven.

You are bewitching

I am held captive by your spell

A wizard of mythical status

Voldemort and Dumbledore can’t compete

Your wand contains my heart strings

Magic.

Tissue and muscle

That’s all it is, in the physical sense

So why this emotion?

Why all this strain?

Love is so much more than a feeling.

My heart.

I’m afraid for the future.

Time’s terrible torture tests

God brought you back into my life

What a beautiful gift.

But how to use it?

A Do over.

We cannot control our lives

Despite how hard we may try.

There is a plan

It is controlled madness

All we can do is wait.

Faith.

“A Boy”

How many tears will I cry ?

Salty drops of purity

My tears will never lie

One

For the day you appeared

Two

For the years you were gone

Three

For when, again you appeared

like a mirage in my desert

Four

For the your personage being real

Five

For your kindness, your heart, and your smile

Six

For all the things I hope we will be

Seven

For all the things we may never be

Eight

For the nights spent lying awake

On the bathroom floor

Nine

For the times you opened my door

Ten

For not being able to see myself with anyone but you

How many tears will I cry?

The answer is unknown

But innumerable if I don’t try.

Love, Love, Love

Love seems to be the main subject on my mind as of late. All sorts of love, romantic love, self love, love of humanity, spiritual love, friendly love, lack of love, just love love love love. I don't know why, maybe it's just my idealist nature. I just love love. I love feeling it and giving it. Now, there are only certain types of love a have been given, but I think I've given every kind of love possible. I just love to love. I have so many things in my life to love. I'm kind of down at the moment, but the thought of all the love that I am surrounded by gives me hope for me future. If everyone would love each other with even an ounce of the love we, as children of God, are capable of, this world would be infinitely more beautiful. I believe that with love we could end poverty, end hunger, end greed, and end war. Not to be a cliche, but the Beatles said it best, "Love is all we need".