On the Worth of Worth

Worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.
It's what's in front of you that counts.
As long as your not too much of anything.
Because too much is too much.
No matter the beauty.
Worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.
There is only one way out,
Though tis blocked by gates of fire.
So ever more worth weighs like bricks in your sack.
But we are told to develop our induvidual worth,
For that is what counts in the end.
But the end takes it's sweet time.
Endings like to taunt and tease.
Making the fire's flicker that of a meadow.
Because worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.

Psychics, Jews, Samber,Tina Fey, and Weird Obsessions

I really need to keep up with this thing better, so I'm just going to start posting random, short, blurbs from my thoughts.
First off, I would like to say that I really hate it when ghostie shows have psychics. It's so cheesy. Like, even if these people really were sensitive, there's no way to prove it, so on a show where proof is the sole purpose, it's just dumb. Plus they're always really creepy old men or women who, like, think their vampires.
Next, I would like to take time to let you know of my slightly unhealthy obsession with Saturday Night Live. Let it be known that ever since I was in 5th grade, I have planned to be a cast member one day. Totes ma gotes! I love it. I think it is the most amazing show ever. I love every cast member , especially Andy Samberg (I want your babies) and Tina Fey (I want your genius babies).
Last, but not least, I would like to make an official note of my weird attraction to Jews and those men that look like Jews. I don't know what it is but those ginormous shnozes totally turn me on. This obsession has been slowly developing from the tender age of 11 when I realized that Louis Stevens was amazing. Now, better known as Shia Lebouf, I still can't get enough. I could list all of the Jews that have made an appearance on my "Feel Free to Disturb Me at Any Time" list, but I will spare you the awkwardness. Just let it be known that I really want a Jew/Mormon baby and we will have a new family crest made in our honor; the Star of David with the Angel Moroni in the center. It may be blasphemy, but it is sweet, sexy blasphemy!

Sunday Happiness

As I was driving to church in Clear Lake this last Sunday, I was stopped at a light. I looked over to my left and saw two white girls blasting rap music and going full out with their "ghetto moves" while sitting in Daddy's Lexus. Then, as I'm rolling my eyes, a big black guy walks by their car, stops to look at them, and proceeds to walk away while shaking his head as if to say,"Nigga please. That's just wrong." It made my day.
I really dislike rich, preppy, white girls and dislike those that like to act like their "ghetto" even more.

Too Much

I've used up all my tears
My eyes are dry
Though I can feel them still
Trickling down my cheeks.

I am completely numb
Though I'm in agonizing pain
My stomach retches
My skin crawls.

I can't feel anything for you
Yet I feel everything
You're in my every though
I want to taste your every breath

I hate myself
I know I am gorgeous
I know I am kind
I just make dumb choices.

My feelings are too strong.
I'm an old soul
Too old for this earth
Let me skip ahead.

Faith is too hard for me now.

Love, you suck

Love, you suck.
All you bring is pain.
All that talk about how great you are,
Means squat to me.
You have never given me any of your gifts
Not even a smile to say hello.
You just charge at me
With your knife hidden behind your back
You fool me into thinking you have changed
And then you stab me through the heart.
Though I guess you have taught me how to hold myself together.
You have taught me how to cry sincerely
You have taught me what it means to wish death
And you have taught me how to pick up the pieces.

Love, you are not even fickle
You are just a conniving criminal
And you never get caught
And oh, how that angers me.
The fact that you get away with it every time
And every time I forgive you.
You're the worst kind of person.
I hate you with the full wrath of God.

Love, please stay aways from me.
Let me exist on my own.
I would rather, I'd never met you.
Let me be at peace.
Because I would rather have never felt your touch
Than to smell your foul stench as it lingers
As it lingers after your strike.

Love, let me be.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Until about two days ago, I was really down about the fact that I have very few friends. But then, thanks to a friend, I realized that I what I have is more than most. I am not completely okay with what I have and what I have are about four really great friends; some know the way I feel about them and some do not.
Now most people would read this and be like,"Four friends? How pathetic!" But what they wouldn't know is the way these people have changed me for the better. These people have made realize things about myself that I never would have otherwise. These people have helped me through things that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here right now. And most of all, these people have listened to me, weather they really wanted to or not. These people have made me feel worth while. I would do anything for these people and they mean so much to me, even though I might have a strange way of showing it.
I'm so thankful for these people and I have no idea what I would do without them. So just know, that as long as you have one person that cares about you, then you are without limits.

A Poem For Him

It's amazing how the snow silences everything
That is, everything but the will of my heart.
For it has been beating for you for far too long,
And I don't think I will ever get it back.
So in the evening as I make my way home,
My heart will remain here with you,
Though you will probably never know,
That my heart has been beating for you for far too long.
Now I am sure that I will never get it back,
For you are far to good and kind to me
And you have helped me mend my heart.
And no one has ever made me feel the way you do.
So be kind to my heart and treat it with care
I wish you would never let it go.
But for that you would have to know
That my heart, it beats for you.



So that's just a rough draft that I wrote while I was riding in the car through Salt Lake. I know the grammar probably sucks, so spare me those comments. I just thought I would share this with you.