...Home?

So, I'm home for the summer. It's been a week and all that I have done is job hunting, play The Sims 3, and a little unpacking. My first weekend was interesting, I went to a club called Rich's for my best friend's co-worker's birthday party. We had a good time dancing and it was a nice way to ween me back into this lifestyle. But other than that, it has rained. Rained, rained, rained some more, rained alot more, and rained again. I guess it's God's way of letting me know what I was missing while in L.A. I was originally very glad to be coming home. I had a great time at my brother's new house in Sacramento. I had really nice time driving home with my mom starting with a drive along the Pacific Coast Highway stopping in Morro Bay and making a detour to Hearst Castle down to Huntington Beach, CA, then cutting across California through Barstow, then over to Las Vegas and the Hover Dam, stopping in Kingman, AZ before checking out the Grand Canyon, then a time on Route 66 into New Mexico. Then down to El Paso where we were greated with a dust storm-thunderstom hybrid and a nice hotel where we could see over to Mexico. Then an epic 700 mile, one day treck home to Pearland. But now that I'm back, I'm missing Hollywood. I miss all of my friends so much, my beloved "Fam", my MB classmates, and even some certain people that I told myself I would not and could not miss. I'm already beginning to count down the days until classes start. This makes me happy though, since I never had a typical high school experience, and I vowed that college would make up for that. Now, I am proud to say that AMDA is doing just that, and then some. Don't get me wrong though, I am very glad to be home with my mom and to have seen my other brother this weekend, and of course, to see my animals. I guess it's just bittersweet.

Next order of business- I think my blog needs a new name. I originally got the idea for "Fresh Eyes in the Morning" from a Bright Eyes song and thought it was so clever. But now I don't think it's an adequate description about what this blog is all about. So if you feel so inclined, post a comment with your ideas. I would greatly appreciate them, though I guess I should try to come up with it myself (I actually did come up with one while I was doing my typical "I-can't-sleep-so-I'm-going-to-lay-here-and-try-to-solve-all-the-world's-problems" routine, but unfortunately I did eventually fall asleep and now I can't remember).

Also, you guys should check out at song called "Sunshine" by Atmosphere. A friend of mine introduced me to this song a while back and I fell in love. It's a pretty good summer song anyway, so check it out!

Stay sweet- Meredith

Nicotine

You are everything I’ve never wanted
You are everything I’ll never need.
You are every vice, every thorn, every bad habit.
You are like a drug with nothing but side effects.

You are everything I want.
You are everything I think I need.
You are every smile, every flower, every good deed.
You are like my Vitamin C.

You are everything I never needed.
You are everything I see.

When I walk outside the door, I hope to see you there.
When I hear you sing a song, I hope it’s about me.
When I close my eyes to dream at night, I hope you’re dreaming about me.
When I can’t find the light, I hope you’ll be my sun.
When I feel like I’m trapped in a prison, I hope you’ll come to the rescue.

You are everything I never needed.
You are everything I see.

Check Out My Glee Audition

Please go check out my Glee audition and give me gold stars so my dreams of being a movie star can come true!

http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=31475628

Long Lost Poetry

So here are some poems I've been meaning to post for quite a long time. It's crazy how school gets you so wrapped up.

All the ways I feel

Are bubbling up inside

One way and then another

But one thing remains the same

The way I feel for you

And the undeniable truth that you will never feel the same

So the feelings will go back and forth and over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again.

The way it use to be was heaven and hell

But most of the days it was the first

Now that the secrets exposed and change forced upon me

It seems it will always be the latter.

So I see the undeniable truth that you will never feel the same

So the feelings will go back and forth

And over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again

To God I plead down on my knees

To make the pain go away

I'm on my knees, to the Lord I plead

To make the shame fade away

Still the feelings go back and forth

And over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again

And the second:

There's never a dull moment inside my head

The colors and sights are so vivid

Like a land of faries and butterfly wings

All up to one corner

It's in this corner that I store my fear and sadness.

It's in this corner that loneliness dwells

Although it's just a corner,

That it all it takes

To overcome my entire being

With paranoia and tears

Their colors are black and blue

And their effects are everlasting

Some say to live and let live

But within my corner,

It's live and let die.

And in my corner I stay.

Tales of Hollwyood: Keeping Up

Kay, so I'm trying to be better at this whole blogging thing, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I haven't had much interesting to write about lately, and if I had written, it would have been just a bunch of whiney sentences.
So, I guess to keep everyone in the loop, I'll just say that I'm doing fine. Hollywood is crazy as always and I'm super swamped with work since it's the almost the end of the semester.

Tales of Hollywood: Dear Lord....

So, it's 2:07 pm on a Sunday in Los Angeles and I am sitting in the AMDA computer lab taking in the lovely leftover barbecue pit smell from the fire in the elevator shaft last Tuesday. I'm not super happy seeing as how today I was suppose to take two of my best friends to church at 3:00 and have a gay old time, hopefully ending with me recieving some life changing revelation. But instead, both friends crapped out, and I found out that contrary to my dad's sworn belief, church started at 2:00 while I was in my crap clothes catching up on blogs because my own laptop won't even turn on, and I have rehearsals for my scene in acting at 4:00. So instead of having this wonderfully, life changing church experience, I will be wallowing in my normal self pity. Ain't life grand.

Though, I'm not saying that I don't have anything to be happy about. Yesterday, Anna, Jacob, and I went to the park from my new favorite movie 500 Days of Summer, called Angel's Knoll in downtown Los Angeles. It was picture perfect, literally, we took pictures. I still can't believe that I live here. Los Angeles, the city of angels, the second largest city in the US. It really is quite crazy. And all the while, I'm at school, not slaving away on term papers about things that I don't give a crap about, but doing what I love and having a gay old time doing so. I just wish that for once I could have a day where I go to bed saying, "Golly gee, today was just grand!" But I guess that's just not realistic.

I don't know why people hate LA. I absolutely love it. It's just full of so much life and color. Everywhere you turn, there is something to do, or something beautiful to look at. The people are generally quite hospitable, except for the crazy homeless people on the street corners. And the weather is almost perfect, compared to Houston. I really am so glad that I'm here.

It would just have been nice to have been able to attend church today...