Diary of A Sicky Kid

I'm sick and I have a vocal master class tomorrow and two performances on Saturday (my first show at AMDA too!). This sucks. And on top of everything, I don't know what to do, because I usually play the mamma and take care of everyone when they're sick. So, what do I do when I'm sick?

8:30 am make-up class tomorrow. Uhhhgggg.................................

Why does my body hate me so?

I Did It!!!

Something finally went well in my life/career! I finally landed an audition! It's been years since I have been in an actual show and now I will be performing in the AMDA Cafe Series this Saturday! I can't tell you how excited and happy this makes me! I just wanted to share my new good fortune with all of you. Here's hoping it's the start of a happy trend in my life!

Creative Writing Poetry Assignment

So, I finally got my poetry assignment back in my creative writing class and I am eager to share them with you as I got a 95 on them. The first is in sonnet form, so that was an interesting learning experience, and the second and third are both free verse, so I had a much more enjoyable time working on them. I hope you enjoy them.

Wanting

To love is more then I have known in life.

It likes to punch me in the face a lot.

By giving me a lot of pain and strife

And turning me into an, almost, sot.

But still, I’d like to know it very soon;

To feel it hold me tightly with it’s arms

And draw me close under the silv’ry moon

And keep me near forever with it’s charms.

If love would give me something beautiful,

With pink and yellow flowers like a song,

Whose greatness makes me sing and fills my soul.

Then life would never ‘gain do any wrong.

It’s cool ‘cause I don’t need to have it now.

But soon would make it easier, and how.

“A Man”

I’m full, like a balloon

Sweet and fragile

Ready to burst

So lovely and perfect

This feeling sublime

Ecstasy.

I’m enveloped completely

With thoughts of you

Slowly singing sweetly

Songs of seduction

Now wrap your strong arms around my waist

Heaven.

You are bewitching

I am held captive by your spell

A wizard of mythical status

Voldemort and Dumbledore can’t compete

Your wand contains my heart strings

Magic.

Tissue and muscle

That’s all it is, in the physical sense

So why this emotion?

Why all this strain?

Love is so much more than a feeling.

My heart.

I’m afraid for the future.

Time’s terrible torture tests

God brought you back into my life

What a beautiful gift.

But how to use it?

A Do over.

We cannot control our lives

Despite how hard we may try.

There is a plan

It is controlled madness

All we can do is wait.

Faith.

“A Boy”

How many tears will I cry ?

Salty drops of purity

My tears will never lie

One

For the day you appeared

Two

For the years you were gone

Three

For when, again you appeared

like a mirage in my desert

Four

For the your personage being real

Five

For your kindness, your heart, and your smile

Six

For all the things I hope we will be

Seven

For all the things we may never be

Eight

For the nights spent lying awake

On the bathroom floor

Nine

For the times you opened my door

Ten

For not being able to see myself with anyone but you

How many tears will I cry?

The answer is unknown

But innumerable if I don’t try.

Love, Love, Love

Love seems to be the main subject on my mind as of late. All sorts of love, romantic love, self love, love of humanity, spiritual love, friendly love, lack of love, just love love love love. I don't know why, maybe it's just my idealist nature. I just love love. I love feeling it and giving it. Now, there are only certain types of love a have been given, but I think I've given every kind of love possible. I just love to love. I have so many things in my life to love. I'm kind of down at the moment, but the thought of all the love that I am surrounded by gives me hope for me future. If everyone would love each other with even an ounce of the love we, as children of God, are capable of, this world would be infinitely more beautiful. I believe that with love we could end poverty, end hunger, end greed, and end war. Not to be a cliche, but the Beatles said it best, "Love is all we need".

Sunday Fun-day Life Lessons

God works in mysterious ways. On the way to church today, I was talking to a friend about a certain situation in my life and how I've been praying for confirmation one way or the other, but I seem to be stuck in limbo. I was also saying how, since I've been such a good girl for so long, I feel slightly entitled to have my prayers about this answered. Looking back, I know this was all a bit selfish and I see my lack of faith, but in the moment, it was, and has been the way I really feel. So, when we got to church, we went straight to Gospel Doctrine (which is like a Bible study class) and we were talking about Zaccarius's lack of faith when an angel told him his wife would become pregnant and him, subsequently, being stuck dumb until the birth. In contrast we were also talking about Mary's faith when the angel told her that she was going to give birth to Christ. The teacher ended up saying almost the exact phrase that I said in the car about feeling entitled to answers to prayer. I knew at this point in time that Heavenly Father was telling me that I need to have more faith. He always answers prayers, but he does it in his own time, in a way that he sees necessary. It was exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. I'm so glad that I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and the opportunity to receive personal revelation. I now he loves me. As I said before, God works in mysterious ways.

May you all have a week full of love and happiness and may you all see the beautiful ways in which God works.

Drunkies

I realized tonight that I kind of love drunk people. Actually it's a bit of a love/hate relationship, cause sometimes they piss me off when they're loud and/or mean. That being said, drunkies just make me feel so good about myself. They always tell me how much they love me and I always get to take care of them, which makes me feel good about myself. I just like taking care of people, like a mom. So yeah. That's that. I'm gonna go take care of my roommate.

Let the Sunshine In

Last night I saw the opening show of the "Hair" tour in LA. It was absolutely amazing. This show is life changing. Hippie Meredith is now back in full force ready to save the world one hug or smile at a time. I just want to love everyone and show them how special they are. Everyone is beautiful in some way and deserves to know it. God made us all as brothers and sisters and we should treat each other as such. We are all one big family!!!! I LOVE HAIR!!!!!!!!

My friends and roommate better be ready for lots of Mamma's and the Papa's, Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, Jefferson Airplane, and Creedence being played in the near future.