Just Do It

I would really like to know how people get to the point where they can live completely in the moment. It always seems like I'm just a second to late. I guess I just put too much trust in fate/the media. Fate, because I think, if it's meant to be, it will happen, which is probably totally wrong. I'm not going to get anywhere unless I take life and make of it what I want. And the media, because they portray decision making as so quick and easy, which is obviously wrong. I don't know. I really want to be the kind of person that lives in the moment and isn't afraid of life, I just don't know how. It's probably a pretty familiar feeling for someone my age. I feel like I'm trapped in "Garden State". Bluuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh!

Maybe Nike is right. Just do it!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel like it. I was woken up today by my fat cat puking on the end of my bed. I decided that was a sign from God to go back to sleep. I managed to stay in bed until approximately 3 pm. Dad and Seth are out being Santa and Elf, so it's just mom, myself, and the animals... eating Jack-in-the-box, watching "Christmas Vacation". We're in the middle of a lovely thunderstorm. I guess that's just Christmas in the Gibbs household in good old Houston, Texas.

I hope everyone has a merry Christmas and can enjoy the company of family and friends. I encourage everyone to take a little time to remember the true meaning of Christmas and reflect on the birth of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I love you all!

I Cut Myself Shaving

Before my razor attacked my talus I was musing on life. Being in the bathtub tends to do that to me. I was running the steel blade of my razor up my leg when I came to the conclusion that I REALLY hope I am not/am not becoming/will not be one of those "LA pricks" so abhorred in popular culture. You know, the ones that are always like, "...well in LA..." I mean, I absolutely love living there, it's great, but my heart will forever be with Yellowstone and the Wasatch Mountains. Los Angeles could never compete with them.

I've also decided that all those people who think that Disney is a load of crap because it trains us to believe that the love in their movies is actually attainable can go suck it. I've decided that, despite how jaded and bitter I may be toward relationships and love, the stories like those of Ariel and Prince Eric or Aladdin and Jasmine are what keep real love alive. The stories are so beautiful and without them true love would dwindle into complete obscurity. Believing in such things is beautiful and keeps us striving for the best in our companions. That probably didn't make much sense, but whatever, this is my blog and I'll say what I darn well please.

I would also like to dare everyone to go out of their comfort zone and tell someone how you really feel about them and how much you appreciate them. I recently did so, and though it may not have born the fruit I was hoping for, I feel like it freed me in a way I've never felt before. God may not always give you exactly what you want, but if you put your heart out there for someone else, he will reward you someway, somehow.

Also, if anyone is in the LA area between now and January 2nd, or anywhere else the show will be coming in the next year, you should definitely go see the musical "Next to Normal". It will change your life. It's definitely not a completely family friendly show, but it is most definitely a great show. I cried my eyes out through the whole show and still went back to see it a second time (though I had some selfish reasons to be seeing it again). The whole cast gives a stellar performance from start to finish and if you go by the stage door afterward, they are all very friendly and seem more than willing to sign playbills and have a quick chat.

Baaaaaaaallllllssssyyyyyy

Well, I've noticed that I've been a lot "ballsier" than normal lately. I guess that's a good thing. When you're "ballsy" you don't have the opportunity to wonder "what if". I mean, even if things don't work out the way you want them too, at least you tried. I personally believe that being "ballsy" helps people to grow up. You get in a lot more life experience that way (this coming from a twenty year old).

So here's to going "balls to the walls" and using lots of quotation marks!

Long live the "ballsy"!

"Goonies never say die!"

Just the Way I Like It

Just the Way I Like It

The power you wield is explosive

You’ve blown my mind to smithereens

I want to repair the damage

But I like the way it looks to me

Torn, tattered, terrible

Bruised, battered, unbearable

And Just the way I like it.

I should be writing sonnets

Full of Iambic flowers

Instead my mind is full to the brim

Bound to explode in carnal showers

Violent, vulgar, volatile

Vulnerable, vindictive, vile

And just the way I like it.

I’ve built you up to mythic status

Like a monument to your grace

Such fragility, I’m afraid to touch you

But every time I see your face

I know that...

The power you wield is explosive

you’ve blown my mind to smithereens

I want to repair the damage

But I like the way it looks to me

Torn, tattered, terrible

Bruised, battered, unbearable

Violent vulgar, volatile

Vulnerable, vindictive, vile

I’m falling, falling, falling hard

Just the way I like it.

Insecurity

Insecurity

I feel like a child

Pubescent and awkward in every way

The expectation is perfection

Perfection I cannot obtain

You’re too fat, you’re too short

You’re too dumb, you’re too smart

A world full of “too’s”

And too little “just right”.

I’m like Goldilocks on a trip

Where the story never ends

And the bears never left

But stood over taunting

Their claws over my head

Ready to rip to shreds at the slightest twitch

It is a bear, a beast.

Merciless and vengeful

A green monster of spite.

Lurking...

Waiting...

For just the right time to strike...

L.A. Love Affair

L.A. Love Affair

Gold and blue is the sky.

I see your jagged outline,

Like monstrous teeth

Exuding romance of days gone by.

Sirens, they scream.

The air smells like sewage.

Streets full of shopping carts

Like a distopian dream.

A room full of friends;

Endless good times together,

Endless strife to unite us.

A unity that never ends

A place with so many personalities,

Our own personal city of sins.

Still, her beauty shines through.

Until forever, could I stay.

This is why I love you, L.A.

You

*My creativity has been flowing strongly lately, so I've been writing poetry like crazy. Therefore, my next few post will be the poems I've written in the last couple of weeks.*

You

Your hair .

Your eyes.

Your face.

Your smile.

Your kindness.

Your joy in life.

Your voice.

Your lines.

Your everything.

You’re perfect.

Word of Wisdom (Or something like that)

Word of wisdom for everyone (especially myself):

God works in mysterious ways. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason.

YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!!!!!!

Getting into Character

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Think of twenty fictional characters (television, films, plays, books, video games, etc.) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first twenty you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. [Optional] Tag fifteen friends. because I'm interested in seeing what characters my friends choose.

1. JD (Scrubs)
2. Elliot (Scrubs)
3. Topanga (Boy Meets World)
4. Christopher McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp (Into the Wild)
5. Olive (Little Miss Sunshine)
6. Natalie (Next to Normal)
7. Samantha Baker (16 Candles)
8. Michael Bluth/George-Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)
9. Alice (Twilight)
10. Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)
11. Fanny Brice (Funny Girl)
12. Cady Heron (Mean Girls)
13. Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
14. Mia Thermopolis (The Princess Diaries)
15. Moritz (Spring Awakening)
16. Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye)
17. Charlie (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
18. Sam (Garden State)
19. Liz Lemmon (30 Roc)
20. Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings)