Meredith's Gripes of the Week
1. I'm sick and tired of people getting angry at me for obeying traffic laws. Take a frickin chill pill and take that lead foot off of the gas. It's not that hard.
2. Mosquito bites need to die. Stop waking me up in the middle of the night with you ceaseless itching. Benadryl ointment can only do so much good.
3. Getting welcomed home by being lectured on what I need to do so I can stop being such a horrible child.
4. Getting welcomed home by being lectured on how I can go about loosing all this apparently unsightly weight that apparently makes a certain family member so embarrassed to be a part of the same household.
5. Trying to catch up on my stories, but getting distracted, so I have to watch the show for the third time, because I have no earthly idea what happened.
6. I don't want to stay in California for Christmas. I want to come home and see my friends and be in my own house and I want all my family to be there too for once.
7. Wearing cap sleeves does not make you a fugly slut! And yes, I am going to continue wearing them until I begin wearing garments and I will probably wear them more now.
8.Why is my room always so freaking dirty? I clean it on a daily basis.
9. Why does my room continue to smell like cat pee even though I don't allow the cat with the bladder issues in said room? It makes no sense! No wonder I can't get any dates. It's probably cause I smell like cat pee all the time.
10. Modesty. Not the concept, but the actual act. Modesty is great. I don't want to look like a hoe and I most definitely want to present myself as a beautiful daughter of God that respects her body, but why does it have to be so hard. And why does it have to be seemingly impossible to find an undershirt in the state of Texas that covers my boobs. I mean, I know I'm quite large there, but jeez Louise, it can't cost that much more to ad an inch more fabric to a tank, the sure do manage to do it in Utah, and in Walmart at that!
11. Go away fleas! I'm sick of having to pick you off of my cats and I'm sick of you making them so miserable. Go pick on someone your own size, or better yet, die and stop covering every surface of my house in your poop!
12. Having to take Prozac every single day just to avoid writing blogs such as this.
Congratulations to Sister Magnolia Montez on being called to serve in the Florida, Tampa mission. You'll be the best missionary ever! I love you so much!
"Extract" was a great movie. I love me some Jason Bateman.
I'll go take those happy pills now.
Your room smells like cat pee because cats are clever, clever animals. The one with the bladder issues waits until you leave, opens the door, sneaks in and pees, then shuts the door on the way out.
ReplyDeleteI'll trade you boobs. Then, not only do you not have to wear a tank to cover them, but you won't even have to wear a bra.
I love you!